translated by: Benedict Newton

Read part one here

Q: You said that on the way to reaching mastery in this practice there are two clearly distinct levels: the first level is the one in which the man learns the techniques he needs to know and the second is the one in which he learns sexual continence through abandoning. Can you explain these ideas please?

A: These two levels I told you are about that have to be passed through in order to achieve mastery in the practice of sexual continence are found in all things actually. Let’s say you want to learn to dance. First of all you focus on the technical parts, everything you need to do, the steps, the moves you need to make. In the beginning it is very difficult to perform the dance because you are thinking all the time to what is the next step and what you need to do. The next level is the one in which you abandon yourself to the music. You have already learned all the techniques and movements, and you know them so well you can abandon yourself to the music, and the movements are natural, without thinking about them. You are in a state of deep relaxation and the movements come from within you, on the rhythm of the music. It is the same, for example, in martial arts: first you learn the techniques, but the mind does not have the capacity to be so quick and efficient and it necessary to stop it and abandon yourself completely and then the movements appear naturally.

It is the same in the practice of sexual continence, just that here the transformations are much greater and abandoning requires a great courage and overtaking of ourselves. Because of this I consider sexual continence to be the highest art for a man because they can obtain through its practice all the masculine qualities.

Q: How does the man experience orgasm?

A: There is a lot to be said on this subject. The male orgasm is very different to how a woman experiences orgasm, and women do not really understand how a man experiences an orgasm without ejaculation.

In the beginning the orgasm is greatly reduced and there needs to be a lot of practice in order for the man to have a total orgasm. It is indicated that he evens empathises with his lover in order to also have intense orgasms. During orgasm, the woman is a paradise of colour and the man feels two weak colours. Through empathy he can feel the extraordinary intensity specific to the female orgasm. This capacity of male orgasm through sexual continence is developed in time, through practice: in the beginning he will not have the same pleasure he had when he ejaculated, but he will feel less intense states of pleasure, but successive. The key to sexual continence is perseverant practice!

Q: In the tantric tradition it says that a woman needs to first open herself affectionately towards a man and then she can offer herself erotically, and a man wants to make love in order to unite his heart with his beloved. What are the methods through which we can synchronise these two needs?

A: In my experience I came to the conclusion that there is need of time spent together, without making love, so that the two arrive at a affectionate and erotic unity. This time is a period of one or two months for a woman to realise if the man is interested in love and affection or just wants a sexual relationship. It is the same for man: he will discover if he is energised erotically and if he is capable of maintain the blossoming of sexual attraction. Reaching this harmony. This synchronicity can be maintained between the two. The subject is much more complex than this and I would love to discuss it more on another occasion.

Q: I have heard of numerous cases in which women cannot understand that men can have an orgasm without ejaculation. For this reason they ask them to ejaculate. Please, explain to them what happens when the man makes such a choice and that he continues to like them and be attracted to them.

A: Yes, I have also heard of numerous cases of this type, including doctors who want to send men who practice sexual continence to hospital because they say that it dangerous if they do not ejaculate and there are many risks.

Unfortunately, or not, only personal practice can reveal the reality of sexual continence and all the benefits that it involves. From stories you cannot benefit from its effects.

We need to be aware that when a man ejaculates this represents a loss for him and in the moment a woman helps him to lose something, there appears automatically in him a feeling of rejection, even if he is not aware of this in the beginning. In time it will become accentuated and even if he hides it, she will feel it. He lost something, he feels tired and even sad – I’ve noticed this in some men.

On the other hand, when the two lovers practice sexual continence, the erotic attraction becomes greater and greater, they want to make love more, to love each other more. The exact opposite! This is why I said that the practice of sexual continence is the opposite of everything that is negative and practicing it offers something even better. The man is adored by his beloved because he becomes more powerful, more masculine, more intelligent, all the masculine qualities will be energised and the woman who helped him practice sexual continence will be a goddess for him.

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